Speak My Lord! Shut Up Satan!

"What do I do?? What do I do?? What do I do??..... Jesus! I need You!! Please speak to me, I need to hear Your voice... I haven't hear Your voice for so long, please speak to me Father... I know I have issues, I have problems and I need help!!! I need Your help Jesus!! Help me... Help me... Help me Father... Hold me and speak to me Lord... Connect my heart with Your heart, I just want to be with You..."

That was my outcry to Jesus yesterday during worship, as I knelt behind the sofa by myself and endless tears dripping down like water dripping from a broken faucet. I didn't know what I was saying but I just needed to pour out my brokenness before Him. I'm learning to be totally real and naked before Him, like what Sarah Allis Yang said, "Don't be afraid to show your real emotion and what you wanted to say to Jesus. He yearns for a real heart to heart relationship with you, not good Christian girls in act." I knew, only in Him can I find my rest and peace.

The truth is, I haven't been able to sleep well this past week. Whenever I lay on my bed, thousands of thoughts would just barge in my head like trains storming from all directions, so loud yet couldn't stop them from rushing in. And I'm really sorry if I texted/called some of you at late hours during my sleepless nights. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there for me, put the effort to talk to me and trying to help me fall asleep. *big hugs for those awesome friends* You guys are the reason why I can still stand firm and stay encouraged.

Recently, I felt that I'm a mutated Christian. I don't know how to describe it. I still yearn for His love, His Spirit, to be baptized in the Spirit... but when I hear others talking about how crazy the Holy Spirit's fire, electricity, power and all that manifestation goodies, I'm not as excited. When they ask me if I wanted some of that I would even kindly reject. I don't know why, aren't we supposed to be constantly desiring the Holy Spirit wine and constantly be filled by it? Maybe it's because I haven't been reading THAT much Word and spreading THAT much gospel this past month. I don't know, but I felt I'm a spiritual outcast, a weirdo who doesn't want the fire balls, the blue fire, the white fire, the red fire of the Holy Spirit... whatever!

Then when Pastor Mike shared that, "It's ok to start over. It's ok to fall in love with Jesus again. It's ok...." I smiled, I needed to hear that. Thank you Lord. It's true that nothing satisfies when You speaks my name, I felt it when You called me out of the crowd yesterday and used Pastor Mike to prophesy and pray over me. Thank you Father. I love You.

This song came to me when I was broken before Jesus during worship... sorry, wasn't paying much attention to what the worship band was singing, I was paying more attention to Him. I started singing this song, and it describes my heart and feeling so well...

In Your Presence - Jason Upton

Father I am waiting,
I need to hear from You.
To know that You're approving
of what I say and do.

Cause nothing really satisfies
like when You speak my name.
So tell me that You'll never leave
and everything will be okay.

In Your presence, all fear is gone,
in Your presence.                  
In Your presence, is where I belong,
in Your presence.                  

Father I'm returning
the things I used to do.
Cause somewhere on the journey
I think I lost hold of the truth.

But nothing really satisfies
like when You speak my name.
So tell me that You'll never leave
and everything will be okay.

Yep, it's gonna be okay... I'm gonna unplug all those thoughts and random emotions at night and gaze upon Your eyes instead! :)

-sala<3

Austen Javelin Lee

[April 25, 2009 12:25am ~ 2:15am]

The baby in my April dream.
The apple in His eyes I could never meet.
Came and gone in one and a half.
His impact for sure was bigger than that.

He was silent yet with voice so loud
United church and families inside and out
He was weak but He is strong
Strengthen the hearts with victorious songs

Now dancing on the golden street.
With the heavenly lollipops oh so sweet.
Rejoicing with a heart fully loved.
By the people from below and above.

Though there's pain in the offering.
The rain shall bring restoration and healing.
Though a mighty spear taken away.
A glorious sword shall be given today.

For the Lord gives and takes away
But we will still choose to say
"Blessed be Your Name"

-sala<3

Jr. High Revival Dream / Golden Royal Seal

Been having lots of dreams lately, but I can't remember most of them. The only dream I remembered was about a IMPACT revival conference focused on middle schoolers. The auditorium was filled with hundreds of fired up Jr. High students and at the end of the meeting one Asian girl ran up the stage and yelled, "Who would prayer walk with me to pray for the Jr. Highs? Follow me if you do!" She began to march around the room and pray, but when she found out no one was following her, she stopped and sat down next to me and MQ, discouraged. In the dream I started to encourage her with the faith and obedience of Moses. I said, "So what if no one's following you right now? When God told Moses to lead hundreds of thousands of Israelites out of the Egypt he didn't know if they will follow him or not, he just obeyed God and led by faith. Walk out by obedience and faith, not by the number of followers or supporters." Then Jack came down stairs and said, "Guys, lunch time!" I knew then, I don't need to continue this dream anymore so I woke up and it was exactly 12pm.

Today Jesse Skinner and his wife, Jessica, came to our Palm Sunday as special speaker. After worship, Matthias did a prophetic dance w/ Misty Edwards' song, "Garden". It was so anointed and the presence of God was so strong, my eyes started to wet. When I see the slides showing pictures of butterflies and beautiful cocoons, I started to cry. One night last year in the prayer room, God showed me that I'm a butterfly who has just got out of its cocoon with the wings still wet, and unable to fly yet. During the dance, through the lyrics of the song and the pictures, I felt God telling me I've grown into a full butterfly, matured beautifully ready to fly. I need to get the picture of a butterfly standing in between two opened palms with its beautiful wings opened fully. God holds me in His palms. After sermon, when Jesse was praying for me, I saw a vision of this one feet tall royal seal made out of pure gold on my left hand. I could literally feel the weight of it, it was so real. I thought to myself, "That's why my left hand rarely shakes and my right hand would always shakes like crazy." I asked God to confirm the vision w/ Jesse's prayer/prophecy over me. A few seconds after, Jesse started to talk about how God's gave me the spirit of wealth, that I would be filled with His favor in that area, and not just finance blessings but I would also have God's righteousness in me. GOLD = wealth. ROYAL SEAL = righteousness. Sweet Jesus! Serious, God has been providing me with unexpected money. Ex. got a check from school in the mail, money found in my pocket, rebate from two months ago came...etc. AND I JUST GOT A JOB YESTERDAY!! Woah.... Jesus You are so good. Jesse prayed, "Lord I pray that You would overwhelm favor upon her that Sarah would even be embarrassed!" Lord, I understand with greater power comes with greater responsibility. I will try my best to manage Your money well, but please continue to teach me how to utilize it. Thank You Lord!!

Currenly Reading: Treasure Hunt / By: Kevin Dedman
Exodus: From Slavery to Sonship / By: Sarah Allis Yang

-sala<3

Redding Trip w/ Core

Officially ended my college life on March 20th 2009. Praise the Lord I passed all of my classes with good grades, even that one class which final exam was worth 60% of my final grade. Hallelujah! Thank You Jesus!

During UCR spring break, which was this past week, I brought a few of my cores at UCR and my sister Alice to Redding for a encounter retreat. We had God's favor and grace all over this trip. He provided everything and got all five of us really wracked by the Holy Spirit. Totally sweet trip! All refreshed, regained strength and received new wine/revelation in our new wineskin. GOD IS GOOD!!

Highlights of the trip:

• On the way there all of us prayed in tongue for an hour straight. Such a breakthrough and we all received visions and words for the trip.
  
• God provided accommodations for all of us and two free meals!
• Seth helped me to meet w/ Bethel's Jr. High teacher. Received a lot from him for children ministry. (Danny Silk is his father in law! O___O)
• I received really cool revelation from Jesus in the Alabaster Prayer House in just 10 minutes! (See below for details)
• Got to attend School of Supernatural 1st year class and it was Bill Johnson who taught. (He's usually not at Bethel during weekdays but we got God's favor to have the privelige to hear him preach) So blessed and challenged!
  
• Went to Turtle Bay's Sundial Bridge and we tried/practiced to walk on water for an hour or so. (Videos will be uploaded later)
  
• Seth got us in Deborah Reed's children ministry small group weekly meeting. We all got wracked by the Holy Spirit. Drunk, holy laughter, balled, electrified, healed...etc for an hour. People were seeing angels. What a night!!
• On the way back got to visit San Francisco JHOP. So encouraged by testimonies and got to see how hidden the place was. Crazy soldiers for Jesus.

Good encounter retreat eh? =)

Revelation at Prayer House
I entered the prayer house and sat down by the fountain. Closed my eyes and gazed upon Jesus. I asked, "God, reveal Yourself to me. What do You want to tell me today?" The verse "1 Corinthians 2" came to my mind right away. I flipped there and it's the passage that talks about wisdom from the Spirit. When I read to verse 5 I started to be filled by the Holy Spirit, my hands started to tremble as it reads "... so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power." As I read on, I felt the Holy Spirit started to speak, through these Words, to my spirit and suddenly I started to get downloads of divine revelations from Him. As I read verse 14, "The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned", the word "accept" jumped out to me. When we do not accept/allow/let/open the door for the Holy Spirit to come and fill us, we are doing the same to block heavenly wisdom from being revealed to us.
There is a reason why it is hard for people who are not Spirit-filled to walk in powerful Christian lifestyles that are based on the two heavenly principals: 1)"Nothing is impossible with God" (Luke 1:37 ) and 2)"When perfection comes, the imperfect disappears" (1 Cor. 13:10). Why are we, as the redeemed ones saved by His grace, still living the lifestyle filled with the impossible and imperfect when it should have been the other way around? The answer is simple. When a person, even saved, keep the mentality and confidence of "i'm possible" and "i'm perfect", we will always be bound in the "impossible" and "imperfect" of our self-righteousness and self-pride. However, to live a victorious lifestyle through God's possibilities and perfection, we must get ride of the "i'm" and replace that with the Great "I AM". Through Him, we'll be able to have the lifestyle of "I AM possible" and "I AM perfect". There is no impossible or imperfect in His dictionary. There is only "I'M possible" and "I'M perfect".

Thank You Jesus for giving me such a great revelation in just 10 minutes. I'm expecting for more. <3

-sala<3

Riverside ER Healing Broke Out!!

Last night me and Jasmine went as under covers to the emergency room of Riverside Community Hospital. Before we went we prayed and God showed us 1.headache 2.lime green 3. feet/ankle pain 4. neck/back pain 5. dark blue shirt mexican guy... etc. and we found all of them!! God healed many people, a guy's feet pain completely healed! (He was wearing lime green snickers), a girl's thrubing pain was gone and could walk w/o crutches and move her toes which she couldn't do before (she said she was wearing lime green shoes earlier in the day too!), the dark blue shirt guy was super touched by the prayer and felt the heat of the Holy Spirit inside of him he said, an old guy didn't need his cane no more because his back pain was relieved...etc. It was CRAZY!!! This all happened in the ER's waiting lobby! Everyone was looking at us when all these crazy things happened, and after the guy and the girl received healing, other people were asking us to pray for them too! The thing was, every person we talked to were already believers, so we didn't lead anyone to Christ... but IT'S STILL SO AWESOME THAT GOD SHOWED UP IN SUCH A POWERFUL AND LOVING WAY!!!!!

Glory to GOD!!!!

Jasmine: "I'm gonna start a ministry called 'The Under Covers'!" (lol)

-sala<3