Monday night after WBS, as I was heading home, I had the craving to go get snacks at the Asian convenient store on Santa Anita and Duarte. As I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed this homeless guy with a shopping cart filled with clothes, blankets and who knows what, standing right in front of the convenient store. Before I got out of the car, I saw him suspiciously peeking inside the store. However, when I saw his face, it was very kind and gentle. It actually reminds me of Jesus' face in Passion, maybe it was because he has similar hair style and face shape. Anyhow, we said hi as I walked into the store. Now, during the whole time I was in there, I was thinking about the possible actions the homeless guys might take, and if I should buy food for him. I didn't. I got my snack (銅鑼燒) and as I walked out of the store, I saw him embracing his black cat with such love and gentleness. Contentment. He must've felt awkward that I saw him doing that, because he quickly switched to just patting and massaging the cat instead of hugging it. In my heart, I felt super bad holding that snack in my hand, because I really didn't need to get it in the first place. It was out of the abundance that I started to spend more than I need. Lust. Gluttony. Sloth (spiritual or emotional apathy, neglecting what God has spoken, and being physically and emotionally inactive). (Wow, 3 out of the 7 deadly sins committed in one night.) I am struggling BIG TIME on the inside if I should still go get them some food or money. But, as I was battling in my mind, I was already driving slowly away at the same time. I could not explain this, but on the way home my heart started aching so badly, and I don't think it was toward how "poor" this guy is. I felt he is content, I thought maybe he's trying to get some food for his cat. While still battling with getting them some necessities, I didn't stop at any supermarket or drive-throughs. Sigh... Sloth. After I got home and parked my car, I was sitting in the car, reminiscing on the scenes back there... I started weeping, sobbing uncontrollably. Tears just kept falling and dripping and pouring out of my small Asian eyes. It felt like a billion heartbroken, which I don't really get what for... But I know one thing, I seriously do not want to waste extra money on extra food/drinks/snacks anymore. I used to struggle with that BIG BIG TIME. Any chance I get to buy a little something here and there, I would, even when I don't need it at all. I would be super full, and while driving, passing by this drink place or that drive-through, there's a big chance I'll drive up and get something. It's very horrible. In the car God revealed that in the state of contentment, I am way poorer than that homeless guy. He is probably more free than me on that part. I would constantly have the urge and lust for food/drinks because some inner parts of me are constantly unsatisfied and desperate to be filled. It's like when you're so full, but you still want to eat more and drink more and chew some more. (I think that's one punishment in hell. Never satisfied. Always hungry.) I don't know how long I've cried in the car, when I went home, I cried more in the shower, then after telling my mom what happened and how God changed my heart, I went in my bed and cried a whole lot more. It is His kindness that leads to repentance. My mom didn't really get what happened, she's just glad I've finally come to my senses of not wasting money on buying outside food/drinks. She said, "You should go to Africa then, see more of these hungry people." (As I'm typing and editing, I started crying again...) I think I've realized why I'm crying, because God has showed me where I'm chained up and how He wants to set me free. Just as we sang in the worship on Sunday (the day before this happened), "I've seen you in your captivity, I'll open up every prison door". I prayed for God to show us our chains, that He wants to break them all to set all of us free. He is faithful, and He did it. Thank you Jesus!!! I am free!!!!
-sala<3
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Power of Transformation
A miracle just happened a couple of hours ago...
I've been without a cell phone for three weeks, because it was broken and it's time for us to renew our 2 year contract anyway, so we're just waiting for the cell phone store to prepare the paperwork and order in the phone we wanted. Today after I got home from Paul's End Time workshop, mom told me the cell phone store finally got the paperwork ready for us to sign. However, me and Amy got into a pretty big argument at the store....
To make the long story short, basically me and Amy are the only ones getting new phones, and due to price we picked the same model but different color. There's only two colors, purple and metallic, to pick from. I let Amy pick first and I'll take the other color, and at first she chose purple, but after we got home she wanted the metallic instead, so I took it that mine is the purple one. That was back at the first visit of the store last weekend. However, today when we were at the store, mom was asking us again what color we decided, and Amy said, "purple", I was surprised and quickly got real mad. I thought in my head, "What the xxxx??!! Who do you think you are that everything has to go YOUR way?? That you get to change your mind about things all the time, and the other people will just have to live with the leftovers???!!!" Seriously, I got super duper mad, I was at rage, at that moment I really wanted to slap her, punch her in the face, beat her up and I even wanted to kill her so badly. (Shocking eh?) All those crazy violent thoughts were going through my head, I thought of Cain and Abel, and how I can relate to Cain killing his brother. I had to control myself not to put my thoughts in action, so I put myself physically at a distance from her and not looking at her.
At that moment.. God started to remind me of the Bible verses I read a couple days ago. Matthew 5:21, 22 “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell." It was amazing... I think it was right after that, I felt all the rage and anger suddenly left my heart, all I could feel was this cleanness and lightness in my heart. Then, God filled the cleaned heart it with His love. At that moment, I had so much love for Amy I went up to her and hugged her. This huge heart transformation took place within just 10minutes!!
In the car I started to tell them what God did back there, and my mom kept on saying, "it's really not easy to do that, good job Sarah". I told her, by myself I couldn't make this change happen, it was ALL God. By His grace and mercy I am set free from sinning against my sister, free from bitterness, and free from grudges. In the car I reach my hand to Amy, held it, told her, "I love you Amy! <3"
According to the next verse in Matthew 5, verse 23 and 24, it says “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift." Thank you Jesus!! Now I know I can boldly go before the alter to offer my gifts to my dear beloved Lord and Savior. Praise God!!
-sala<3
I've been without a cell phone for three weeks, because it was broken and it's time for us to renew our 2 year contract anyway, so we're just waiting for the cell phone store to prepare the paperwork and order in the phone we wanted. Today after I got home from Paul's End Time workshop, mom told me the cell phone store finally got the paperwork ready for us to sign. However, me and Amy got into a pretty big argument at the store....
To make the long story short, basically me and Amy are the only ones getting new phones, and due to price we picked the same model but different color. There's only two colors, purple and metallic, to pick from. I let Amy pick first and I'll take the other color, and at first she chose purple, but after we got home she wanted the metallic instead, so I took it that mine is the purple one. That was back at the first visit of the store last weekend. However, today when we were at the store, mom was asking us again what color we decided, and Amy said, "purple", I was surprised and quickly got real mad. I thought in my head, "What the xxxx??!! Who do you think you are that everything has to go YOUR way?? That you get to change your mind about things all the time, and the other people will just have to live with the leftovers???!!!" Seriously, I got super duper mad, I was at rage, at that moment I really wanted to slap her, punch her in the face, beat her up and I even wanted to kill her so badly. (Shocking eh?) All those crazy violent thoughts were going through my head, I thought of Cain and Abel, and how I can relate to Cain killing his brother. I had to control myself not to put my thoughts in action, so I put myself physically at a distance from her and not looking at her.
At that moment.. God started to remind me of the Bible verses I read a couple days ago. Matthew 5:21, 22 “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ 22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell." It was amazing... I think it was right after that, I felt all the rage and anger suddenly left my heart, all I could feel was this cleanness and lightness in my heart. Then, God filled the cleaned heart it with His love. At that moment, I had so much love for Amy I went up to her and hugged her. This huge heart transformation took place within just 10minutes!!
In the car I started to tell them what God did back there, and my mom kept on saying, "it's really not easy to do that, good job Sarah". I told her, by myself I couldn't make this change happen, it was ALL God. By His grace and mercy I am set free from sinning against my sister, free from bitterness, and free from grudges. In the car I reach my hand to Amy, held it, told her, "I love you Amy! <3"
According to the next verse in Matthew 5, verse 23 and 24, it says “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift." Thank you Jesus!! Now I know I can boldly go before the alter to offer my gifts to my dear beloved Lord and Savior. Praise God!!
-sala<3
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Seed Planted
Let me share a quick testimony... I just had dinner w/ one of my coworkers, who's not devoted in any religion right now. As I drove to meet up with her, I prayed to God to speak through me to touch her heart tonight. As we were eating, suddenly I had the urge to ask her, "how's your dad doing?" She then told me 20 yrs ago her dad had a stroke and that caused the entire right side of his body to be paralyzed. He hasn't been able to work ever since, but its gotten better, he's able to hold things with his right hand and able to walk with right leg now. I told her about how much Jesus loves her and cares about her, that He would put that question in me to show her His love. Even though she told me she's happy the way she is right now, not devoted in any religion, I strongly feel that a seed has planted deep in her heart. Praise God for the prophetic! Lord, she is yours, we claim her salvation in Your hands! Amen!
-sala<3
-sala<3
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
JOY
"JOY" the music album from IHOPU, was so awesome!! Everyone needs to get one!
I listened to the entire album twice yesterday. One time going to work and the other time coming back home. As soon as the first song started, the JOY of the Lord started to fill the car. I started to smile, giggle, laugh, laugh w/ tears in the car, by myself!! You probably think I'm a maniac, but that was AWESOME!!!! I haven't been filled by the joy/holy laughters of God for a long while and I missed it so much!!! Thank you Jesus I want more!!
The joy didn't just bring me inner joy and makes me laugh like a psycho. It brought me to tears and I could feel the Lord starting the inner healing and deliverance inside of me. A few people know what I'm going through right now and what I'm struggling through. I was really frustrated and felt totally chained down and poisoned. But yesterday... two times of JOY (double anointing of joy)... the Lord totally transformed my emotion and my heart was relieved. As I'm typing how the Lord has begin to set me free, I'm being filled by the Holy Ghost... more Lord!!
"Whom the son sets free is free indeed!" - John 8:36
Thank you Jesus! I am Yours!! Set me free!!! Hallelujah!!!!!!
-sala<3
I listened to the entire album twice yesterday. One time going to work and the other time coming back home. As soon as the first song started, the JOY of the Lord started to fill the car. I started to smile, giggle, laugh, laugh w/ tears in the car, by myself!! You probably think I'm a maniac, but that was AWESOME!!!! I haven't been filled by the joy/holy laughters of God for a long while and I missed it so much!!! Thank you Jesus I want more!!
The joy didn't just bring me inner joy and makes me laugh like a psycho. It brought me to tears and I could feel the Lord starting the inner healing and deliverance inside of me. A few people know what I'm going through right now and what I'm struggling through. I was really frustrated and felt totally chained down and poisoned. But yesterday... two times of JOY (double anointing of joy)... the Lord totally transformed my emotion and my heart was relieved. As I'm typing how the Lord has begin to set me free, I'm being filled by the Holy Ghost... more Lord!!
"Whom the son sets free is free indeed!" - John 8:36
Thank you Jesus! I am Yours!! Set me free!!! Hallelujah!!!!!!
-sala<3
Sunday, January 2, 2011
2011 Prayer
New year, new beginning, new template, new vision, new hope, new season...
-sala
Dear Lord, for 2010, I thank You for Your faithfulness, provision and unfailing love. For 2011, I pray for my parents to really know You, love You and get baptized. I pray for You to continue to mold me, shape me, break me, restore me, use me, guide me. I want to be hungrier and thirstier for You, Your Words, and be obedient to walk it out by faith. I pray for all the sheep You placed in my care that You will stir up a flame of passion and desire for You in their hearts, that no water can quench. Draw them closer to Your heart and never let them go. Transform their minds every single day to be more like You. Build their faith up and shape their characters. Lead them not into temptation but let them glorify You in all they do and say. In 2011, Lord, let more breakthroughs come in each and every one of their lives, including mine. Thank You Jesus, for I know You are faithful and You've heard my prayer. Help us to be completely committed, obedient and faithful to You, our spiritual leaders and also our parents. I also pray we will bring more people into Your Kingdom, make disciples out of them and see to it they bear much fruits, in Jesus' Name I pray, amen.
Get your engine started hot and running shoes ready.
Let's start and finish the race for 2011 strong!! 3... 2... 1... GO!!!!
-sala
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