Lord, Break me!

On Sunday night after I got back to Riverside I received a text msg from one of our leaders, Daniel, saying we got a prayer meeting at 11pm. Me and Ruth went and the first word I heard right after I got in the door was somebody shouting "HALLELUJAH!!" I didn't know who it was cause the voice didn't sound familiar, so I looked and found out it was a guy sitting on a wheelchair who shouted it. His name is Alan, he met Daniel at the gym while watching basketball games and he was trying to evangelize to Daniel and his roommate. The reason Alan is on the wheelchair is not because of any injury, but due to infantile paralysis (小兒麻痺) which caused him trouble in speaking, walking and doing other things. When he speaks he would need to use his whole body's strength to get some of the words out, and his face would twitch. But, I was so encouraged by him because he does not see his disability as a blockage towards spreading the good news, praying for others, reaching out to the lost souls or praising God as loud as he could. When Daniel asked him to pray for us to start the meeting off, 90% of his prayer was filled with words of praise and gratitude towards God. He started sharing about the necessity for the body of Christ to be awaken to receive the urgency of the hour to spread the Gospel to anyone we encounter on a daily basis. He asked us, "How many of you are hungry for souls?" There is no more time left because Jesus is coming soon. Too soon as Anthony puts it. I started balling in repentance when we all started praying together for ourselves and others. If a guy like Alan, who doesn't even have the ability to put a jacket on by himself, can have the boldness, obedience, and love to reach out to the lost souls, what the heck am I doing? So encouraged by him.

This morning I woke up and I prayed, "Lord let me get a soul into Your Kingdom today". After class, I walked by a girl sitting on the stairs and I had such a strong conviction to go tell her about the Lord, but I didn't. I was walking pass her and I really wanted to turn around and talk to her but I just walked slower and slower and never turned back. Grrrr.... While I was walking away, Daniel's prayer rang in my head, "The blood for those we didn't preach the good news to are on our hands." When I was driving my roommate to her class, the radio station was playing this song "Empty Me". It's exactly what I needed to pray for and I believe God is trying to tell me a message about it. I went home and prayed the prayer I was so afraid to pray for 2 or 3 years. "Lord, break me so You can reshape me into the vessel You delight."

I used to pray this prayer everyday in Freshmen year, and the Lord was faithful. So many things happened to me I can't even describe all of it in an hour, but I was really broken and He did reshape me in an super amazing way. I don't regret what happened but I was afraid to encounter those things or even worse things. However, now I believe it's time for the Lord to break me once again. I know He is good all the time so I'm ready Lord. Let it come.

Empty Me - Chris Sligh


-sala<3